A friendless Bum.

I'm a friendless bum. 

I have no people my age that have a desire to be my friend. But that is A-ok! Why? Because I just go hang out with my parents at their work and hang out with all the old rich people. That's right I hang out with State Legislatures and my Dad's fellow Troopers. In the past week I have "hung out" with them twice. 

Yesterday there was some shindig and the EVO (Emergency Vehicle Operations I think) Track. This place is the greatest thing since sliced bread. What do they have here? They have a life size video game and a track where they wreck old police cars. That my peeps, is your tax dollars hard at work. 

Ok. So they don't really crash cars all day and there isn't really one big video game. This place is where they practice how to respond to emergencies safely in their cars and how to do sweet things like Pit-Maneuvers. They have a driving simulator where you can practice speeding through traffic to respond to a crash or chase somebody or anything like that. 

It's really cool and fun. When I did it I was pretty good. Especially when you just had to go down a straight road with all green lights. The guys in there kept telling me I was good at it but I think they were just being nice. I especially sucked it up when they made me do a pit-maneuver. I did it three times on the simulator and out of those three times I crashed twice. It's harder than it looks. Especially when it's just on a computer and your break is as still as I'll get out. At least I wasn't like the Legislator next to me who just drove up onto the sidewalk and was running over pedestrians. 

The really fun part of yesterday was when we got to sit in on a real pit-maneuver. I was terrified. I'd been watching people doing it all day, just waiting for one of the cars to roll. They never did so I finally braved it. There were two cars and three siblings that would be doing this so this meant one of us would have to be in a  car alone. 

I was not going to let this be me. For those of you who really truly know me you know when I am THE MOST paranoid person alive. I did not want to have to brave this terrifying thing alone. But I had to. And to make matters even worse this was my conversation with the guy driving. "So are you Johnson kin?" "Yep. Are you going to kill me. I'm so scared. With my luck this is going to be the time someone dies from this" "Only ten people have been injured from rolling." "WHAT?!" You can roll?"

Why on earth would you tell an already terrified person that? And to make things even better, in the front seat there is absolutely nothing to hold on to except for that little handle on the door that you pull on, to shut the door. Any ways so we did the pit maneuver and I didn't die. It was actually a ton of fun. 

When we got home that night I found out the guy that was driving the car I was in was making fun of me while he was talking to my mom. How rude. But lets be real I probably would have made fun of me if I was him. 

So moral of this blog post. Friendless bum? Just go to work with your Mom and Dad and you'll make tons of new friends.