Conspiracy Theory

You know I have a theory about all of these fires that have popped up in the last day or two. They're saying that a lot of the fires that have occurred so far in the state are because of people doing target practice. That's practical. But you wanna know what I think? I think that it's all a conspiracy. This is my theory. They're just saying the fires are being started by target practice to cover up the truth. Why would they want to cover up that truth you ask. Well I haven't figured that out yet, but I'm sure of my theory. 

On another note today I actually did something with another human being today. It was way fun. My Pal Rachel and I were planning on going to see The Avengers but the blasted show was sold out. So instead we got Jamba Juice and cupcakes from the Cocoa Bean. It was fun to actually hang out with someone outside of my family.

Also you need to watch this video. It's so sweet. I love Phillip Phillips. He's the best. And I think that movie is that cutest, sweetest thing ever. Also I love that song. 

Well ya'll enjoy your lives. I'm off to go watch the smoke fill the skies. 

What a Dump

Today all my wildest dreams came true. After much anticipation I finally saw The Avengers. Since I saw the trailer for it I could not wait to see it, only I hadn't seen any of the movies that lead up to it. I wanted to see all of those wonderful movies before I watched The Avengers.

So every time I was at a Redbox I would look to see if they had one of the movies. Captain America was the first one they actually had. We watched that and then I went out on the hunt for Thor. Now that is quite the story.

You see I had to do some shopping at Macey's so I planned on checking the Redbox there. I did. They didn't have it. I had to stay in that general area though because I would have to pick up Susie soon, so I swung by the 7-11 on University and checked that Redbox. No luck. I still had time to blow until I had to pick up Susie and I had things that would go bad in a hot car so I called Jeff and asked if I could hang out at his place for awhile since it was just down the street.

So I went over there put my things in his fridge then walked into the living room and what was there sitting on  the couch? Thor! I couldn't believe it. So I returned it for them then got it for myself. Then the Redbox NEVER seemed to have Iron Man (1 or 2) and when they did it was always Blue-Ray and we don't have a Blue-Ray player.

Eventually we got those and watched it. The Hulk we just had to buy cause nowhere seemed to have it. Now after all my determination I have seen all of those movies and The Avengers. Oh that glorious movie! Today has just been the most marvelous day. On top of all my wildest dreams coming true I had the day off! The one thing better than making money is having the day off. Don't get me wrong, I love my job it's just nice to have a lazy day.

Today I have been overly friendly and it has been very embarrassing. Let me explain. Well to start off let me say that riding in the back of a police car gets you tons of attention. Everyone stares. Why? Probably cause they think you are some felon being arrested or something. One time these people would not stop staring at Susie and I when we were in the back of my Dad's car so we milked it and we milked it good. We started acted like what we assumed someone being arrested would act like. It was fun.

Anyways today I was stuck in the back of my Dad's car again. We were turning onto Geneva and I thought I saw my Uncle Jim in a car. So I started to wave. Only it wasn't him. It was some old man. And he probably thought I was some psycho person who was being brought to the mental hospital. And then my Mom and I were driving down 820 and we thought we saw Jeff driving the other way. So we waved. It wasn't him. Moral of the story, I need to not wave at people anymore.

Anyways I think I've rambled enough. I want to go look at the pretty blue sky. Oh wait, that's not possible. Stupid Dump Fire.

A friendless Bum.

I'm a friendless bum. 

I have no people my age that have a desire to be my friend. But that is A-ok! Why? Because I just go hang out with my parents at their work and hang out with all the old rich people. That's right I hang out with State Legislatures and my Dad's fellow Troopers. In the past week I have "hung out" with them twice. 

Yesterday there was some shindig and the EVO (Emergency Vehicle Operations I think) Track. This place is the greatest thing since sliced bread. What do they have here? They have a life size video game and a track where they wreck old police cars. That my peeps, is your tax dollars hard at work. 

Ok. So they don't really crash cars all day and there isn't really one big video game. This place is where they practice how to respond to emergencies safely in their cars and how to do sweet things like Pit-Maneuvers. They have a driving simulator where you can practice speeding through traffic to respond to a crash or chase somebody or anything like that. 

It's really cool and fun. When I did it I was pretty good. Especially when you just had to go down a straight road with all green lights. The guys in there kept telling me I was good at it but I think they were just being nice. I especially sucked it up when they made me do a pit-maneuver. I did it three times on the simulator and out of those three times I crashed twice. It's harder than it looks. Especially when it's just on a computer and your break is as still as I'll get out. At least I wasn't like the Legislator next to me who just drove up onto the sidewalk and was running over pedestrians. 

The really fun part of yesterday was when we got to sit in on a real pit-maneuver. I was terrified. I'd been watching people doing it all day, just waiting for one of the cars to roll. They never did so I finally braved it. There were two cars and three siblings that would be doing this so this meant one of us would have to be in a  car alone. 

I was not going to let this be me. For those of you who really truly know me you know when I am THE MOST paranoid person alive. I did not want to have to brave this terrifying thing alone. But I had to. And to make matters even worse this was my conversation with the guy driving. "So are you Johnson kin?" "Yep. Are you going to kill me. I'm so scared. With my luck this is going to be the time someone dies from this" "Only ten people have been injured from rolling." "WHAT?!" You can roll?"

Why on earth would you tell an already terrified person that? And to make things even better, in the front seat there is absolutely nothing to hold on to except for that little handle on the door that you pull on, to shut the door. Any ways so we did the pit maneuver and I didn't die. It was actually a ton of fun. 

When we got home that night I found out the guy that was driving the car I was in was making fun of me while he was talking to my mom. How rude. But lets be real I probably would have made fun of me if I was him. 

So moral of this blog post. Friendless bum? Just go to work with your Mom and Dad and you'll make tons of new friends.