Life Epiphany

Today was an answer to a prayer that I never knew I had... kinda. It was more of an answer to many prayers in an obscure kind of a way. In institute today we were talking about faith, but before we got into that we got started on fear. The girl in the class who started this conversation was most definitely inspired.
It helped me to realize that I have had certain prayers answered I was just afraid to act on my answers or even to accept the answer. It also made me realize that my second guessing myself is just the fear that Satan uses to try to deter us from what is good and right for each of us.
The whole time I had the "burning in by bosom" kind of feeling and then we read the scripture that says something to the effect of "I will let you know if things are good or right with a burning in your bosom". And it was so awesome because I sat there thinking about things that I'd had fear in lately and felt this "burning in my bosom" and I knew that these things were good and right and that I just need to practice faith and have patience and don't fear. Even right now I feel again that these things are good and right. I love how much God's hand is in my life and I can feel his love for me!

Timing

I sure do love these people!

I wish I was eloquent with words. I have so many thoughts in my mind that I never know how to put to words. And I always want to write them down so I'll remember them but I can never find just the right words. Plus if I was eloquent with words writing papers for school would be a lot easier. Right now I've got to write a paper about of all the classes I'm taking which do I feel is unnecessary. And it's kinda hard to write this paper because I feel like all the classes I'm taking are necessary. 

I really, really, really, really want to see this movie. It looks like a good story line, and plus I've only heard good things about it. 

Squanto (my car) has been filthy lately. He's needed a car wash quite desperately for a while. So the other day I took him through a car was and it did nothing. At all. All the dust and everything was still on there. It was weird and annoying. And then yesterday it poured rain so now he's in even more of a need for a car wash. But I don't care any more. As long as the windows are clean then I'm content. 

So now that I can actually vote I'm realizing that my vote doesn't really count for anything at all. So there's really no reason to vote. Don't get me wrong I'm going to vote just so I can get the sticker that says "I voted" but my vote won't count for anything. My Dad says that everyone needs to vote just to back of what the Electoral College for your state voted but that doesn't even really matter because they can vote however they want whether it goes with or against the common consent of the state. But I don't know that's just my opinion. 

Lately I've been hearing a lot to just trust in the Lord's timing. And I really didn't want to trust in the Lord's timing because I don't really know His timeline for me or if it's what I want. But recently I just decided that I was actually going to trust in His timing and live my life with faith that things will work out in His way and in His time and in the long run I'll be happy no matter what. Once I consciously decided to trust in the Lord's timing it seems like things are finally starting to happen for me. And its wonderful. I just took a leap of faith and right away I'm seeing the wonderful repercussions. And the Lord really does know what's best for me, I may think that I do but in reality I have no idea. So I'm thankful for all the different people and things that lead me to take a leap of faith and trust in the Lord's timing. 

Opportunities

Yesterday my idea of my future began to be questioned. My plan for life was to live it, and if I got married before I was 21, then great. But if not I would go on a mission. My heart wasn't necessarily set on serving a mission nor was it against serving a mission. Then when President Monson announced that young women can serve a mission at age 19 I was overwhelmed with a wave of emotions. First I felt gratitude for the blessing this would be in many peoples lives. My mind went to a girl in my institute class who just this last week asked our teacher how soon girls could turn in their papers. She's only 19 so I felt bad that she would have to wait a couple more years, then I heard the announcement and I was happy for her. I also felt shock. I'm going to be 19 in one and a half months. If I want to go on a mission I can start my papers today! And I also felt some confusion. Should I go on a mission right now, or wait a few more years to see how different things work out. 

My parents were gone at my siblings cross country meet when the announcement was made so when they got back home my Mom came in and said "Rachel! You can go on a mission this year!" But did I want to go on a mission this year? After the first session I went on Facebook and saw a whole bunch of my friends who were already making their decision so easily. I was still confused, and I felt like I had to make a decision that day. So throughout the day I contemplated both of my options and both seemed like they would be right for me. So I prayed about it before I went to bed hoping that by the end of today I would have my answer. 

When I woke up I just decided that I needed to make a decision and then ask the Lord if it was the right one. So I decided I was going to serve a mission, and inquired of the Lord and waited for my answer. 

During Elder Holland's talk this morning I got my answer. Let me preface the answer I got with some background information. When I received my Patriarchal Blessing I was sure that I would someday go on  a mission. I hoped desperately that it meant a couples mission, because to be honest I hope by the time I am 21 to be married. So I didn't really want to have to serve a mission when I was 21. I wasn't anti-mission I was just more pro-marriage (I know I'm so old fashioned.) And now I have the opportunity to serve while I'm 19! 

So do I take the chance and serve now, or wait while and see where I am in life. Then in Elder Holland's talk he talked about judgement day and how he believes Christ will ask "Did you love me?" Well I know that I do love him, but would my life prove that? And then I realized that if I really do love Christ I can sacrifice one and a half years of my life to go and feed his sheep. It's the least I can do, after all He has done for me. So I'm going to seize this opportunity and get my paper's started as soon as possible. I'm eager to get out and share the gospel that has been such a blessing in my life, and to be a part of history. I'm also very excited for the opportunity that this provides to go to the Temple! Never in a million years did I think I'd be going through the Temple at age 19.

I know that the change in age for mission service is inspired. Like President Holland said in the Press Conference yesterday, they made this change because the work is hastening. I'm excited for the great privilege I have to help in the hastening of the Gospel. And I'm ready to get out and serve!

Today!

Ah! Today has been such a good day! For starters I woke up and had to wear slippers to keep my feet warm. I love cold weather! Especially cold, Fall weather. It's the best. I especially love the beautiful colors. The mountains right now are flippen gorgeous! I've been told that I need to go for a drive up the canyon, because apparently up there it's breath taking.

So my English professor finally graded our first of 4 papers. I wish he would have graded them sooner so I could see how I was doing and make the needed adjustments to get where I need to be. Well, like I said, he finally graded the first one and I got 100%! I'm pretty much the smartest person in that class (no lie)! I should have taken an honors English class, but when I was registering I didn't feel that ambitious so I didn't and as a result I am pretty much the most advanced student in the class. This is a very new experience for me.

We had another FABULOUS lesson in Repentance and Forgiveness today. This class never ceases to amaze me. Every day I learn something new about some aspect of the Atonement that I didn't know before. Here's a chart that we're discussing in class. We are just getting into it and yet have spent two days on it.  

It's kind of hard to read, but it's pretty straight forward, when we are finished with all of it I will update so all of you can gain the same, amazing knowledge that I am.

I've got work off today! Yay! I love my job, but some days I just come home and want to get my homework done and then just relax but I can't because of work, so today that's exactly what i'm doing. Just relaxing. It's been too long!

Last night I was super excited for the debate and loved watching every second of it. What am I turning into?

Study Break

My mind needs a study break. In these past three weeks of college I think I've studied more than I did in all my years combined in High School. Hopefully now that I actually study I'll get good grades.

Today in my English class we were peer reviewing our papers we'd just written. And one of the guys who read mine found it totally offensive. I felt bad on the outside, but on the inside I was laughing. I'm mean but the things he took offense over were dumb things. When I wrote my paper I didn't even think it would be possible for anyone to take offense over it. Ha ha. Ah well. Now I know next time I shouldn't try to be humorous in my papers. 

People always seem to take my humor the wrong way. As a result of that I've stopped trying to be funny. That's why people don't think I'm funny anymore. At home I'm funny though. Everyday I manage to scare the  heck out of my Dad when he comes home. And everyday I scare him the same exact way. I just stand behind the garage door and when he comes in and closes the door I scream and he freaks out and says "I'd stop, because next time you're going to get hit" (Not on purpose, He'd hit me because when I scare him its a full body reaction). Well he's said that numerous times and I've yet to be hit. 

Tomorrow is the first official day of fall. I'm stoked. I love fall for many reasons. For one the cool, crisp air. And I absolutely LOVE crunching leaves. People probably think I'm mental because when I walk to class and I'm outside I make sure to step on every single leaf. People can poke fun all they want, but I'm going to continue crunching all the leaves. 

That reminds me. When I was walking, outside, to class today some guy was riding his long board and he totally biffed it. And I felt bad for him, but not because he'd biffed, but because you could tell his ego was deeply wounded. It sounded painful too. Poor guy. But I'm sure he survived. 

Today I was walking down the hall and did one of those the ground was higher than you expected half trips and laughed at myself then two seconds later did it again and I laughed at myself again. One time I was walking down a hallway and this guy did one of those trips and I snickered to myself then did the exact same thing in the exact same spot. It was funny. I learned not to laugh at people when they get hurt after that experience.

Although I still do. I literally can't help it. If someone gets hurt I laugh. Not because I'm mean but because the way they got hurt was hilarious and I guess I like to express laughter more than sympathy so I laugh. So if you get hurt and I laugh at you don't take offense. Just understand that I can't help it. 

This week I had my math teacher tell me I was struggling and needed to get help in the class. I just smiled and said I know. I know. I know. Although really I'm not struggling with understanding everything, I'm just behind because I make my math homework the least of my priorities. So I just need to get caught up. I'm pretty sure the world would be a better place if I didn't have to learn math. Because honestly I'm never going to use anything besides addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division in my life. And if I do end up having to used more advanced math than that, then I need to change some things in my life so that I don't have too. 

Well I'm done rambling, I should probably get back to filling my mind with knowledge so I can ace my test tomorrow. Have a great day everyone!

Grateful.

Today I had Repentance and Forgiveness. It's an amazing class, especially today. I felt the spirit so strongly and my testimony grew a ton.

We talked about the fall and sin today. And some of the things that were taught/said made me thing/realize things I'd never thought of/realized before.
-This girl in my class shared a story that one of the Apostles shared recently about how his son was in the hospital because he'd gotten injured or something and the father was trying to get back into the room where her son was but the doctors kept pushing him back and he kept trying again until they finally just locked the doors so he had no chance to get in and comfort his son. Then the Apostle related that when we sin, or are hurting for whatever reason, Heavenly Father can and WANTS to help us. But he can't come to us, like the father couldn't come to his son, we have to go to him. Heavenly Father wants to help us when we're hurting and He will, we just have to get on our knees and pray.
-Another thing that I knew but never really understood was that. Everybody sins. Everyday. Every single person in the World sins. Some big some little. No one is better than the next person because EVERYONE sins. I also understood today that when you don't act on a prompting, you're sinning. I think he called this sins of omission. And it made me think, how often do I do that. It also made me realize that if we're living our lives so that the spirit isn't with us, we are missing out on our opportunities to be prompted and therefore, sinning.
-Today I also realized how much the Savior REALLY does love us all. In class we discussed the story of the woman who committed adultery. And Brother Durfey said something that really struck me. He said something to the effect of, the Savior had a person before him who committed a big sin. A sin that he knew he would have to atone and suffer for. But he didn't chastise her, He forgave her and told her to sin no more. He knew that that sin was going to cause him a lot of pain, but he showed love for her non the less and forgave her. And why would it be any different for me? Christ didn't atone for us for nothing. The Atonement is there for us to use. If we use it, we will be forgiven. No questions asked.
How thankful I am for that. I by no means am perfect. I strive to live righteously everyday but I know I'm not perfect and I do sin. But because of Christ and His Atonement I don't have to live with the burden of my sins. Christ already has, so I don't have to. I just need to get on me knees and pray and repent.

Seriously, if you have a chance, take this class with Brother Durfey. It will change your life.

Bliss

Well, I've officially entered the big, scary, ominous world they call College. And ya know what! I'm actually loving it.

Before I decided to go to UVU I was planning to go to USU. I'd been accepted, I'd registered for classes, I was ready to go. But as time went by I'd lay in bed at night feeling like I shouldn't be going there. But I really wanted to. I didn't want to go to dumb UVU! After all it was my only other option because I refuse to go anywhere down south (why? no particular reason.) and I had no chance of getting into BYU. (And let me tell you. After one day of being on BYU campus during school I am SOOOOO glad I'm not. I'll explain later). So I finally decided that I would just defer from USU for two years and go to UVU.

I was not thrilled. I felt like UVU was the lowest of the lows. But it didn't matter because I was still going to go. Then one week before school started I went to orientation. Still not excited. But then Monday happened. And I realized I am supposed to be at UVU.

In two days I've grown to love the school. It's great! I love that all the buildings are connected (granted it does cause me to get lost everyday. Unless I'm in my classroom or the library I have no idea where I am.) I love that it doesn't feel over populated. Which leads my to why I'm SOOOOO glad I'm not going to BYU.

I get overwhelmed very easily. Extremely easily. The other day I had to meet my brother Jeff at the Wilkinson Center at BYU to return a book I'd bought from the book store there, because I didn't need it any more. So I drove up there and tried to find a parking spot..... For 45 minutes!!!! Are you kidding me? And to top it off all the students think they can cross the street whenever they please! So annoying. Then I finally parked at the Marriott Center, and met up with Jeff. We then proceed to walk into the Wilkinson Center. And goodness gracious there were people EVERYWHERE!

Then we walked into the bookstore and it was like they multiplied. To say the least by the time I left, I was stressed beyond belief. And that is why I am SOOOOO glad I'm not going to BYU. Too crowded. Other than that (and the dumb pedestrians) I love the school.

That's another great thing about UVU. I'm pretty sure they surpassed BYU in enrollment but it never seems over crowded to me. Heck all of my classes are the same size if not smaller than high school classes. It's wonderful and just what I need.

I also love the Institute at UVU. It's the best. My favorite part of the day. I get excited just walking over to the building. I'm taking a Doctrine and Covenant class (which I'm excited for. I love studying the Doctrine and Covenants) and I'm taking Repentance and Forgiveness. That class is amazing. I'm so glad I'm taking it. My brother Jeff suggested that I take it because he loved it when he took it. Today was the first day and I can tell I'm in for a treat. Brother Durfey is the teacher and he's awesome. He's so adamant and sincere about the subject and has such a strong testimony of it. If you ever get the chance to take it, do it. You wont regret it!

Today I was walking down the hall and the Institute had a table set up. And at the table they had Missionaries there! Real Missionaries! How cool is that. You're just walking down the halls and school and all of a sudden you see Missionaries. There are lots of people at UVU who aren't LDS so I just thought that was so awesome that they were there inside the school!

That's another thing that I love about UVU. The fact that there are quite a lot of people there who aren't LDS. Provides for some great missionary opportunities. I had one yesterday, but kind of blew it. There's this kid in my English class from Canada whose on the golf team and UVU and he was talking about how a kid on the team just got back from and LDS Mission and you could tell he was saying that because he wanted to learn more about it. He even asked us all if we were Mormon and we all were except for this one other kid in our group and I wanted to tell him more but I chickened out. But that's A-ok because I've got all semester.

Anywho. I was just excited and wanted to write about how awesome college really is. Especially UVU. (BTW I was a little disappointed to find out that a Wolverine isn't like a wolf or anything, its a relative to the badger and pretty much looks like a badger. It was quite the let down to find that out)